I See You, and I Love You.

I see you dragging yourself out of bed at the sight of the setting sun, to brush your teeth for the first time today. I see you taking deep breaths to calm your rhythmic heart before entering the conversational space. I see you projecting your thoughts onto the empty wall, wondering where the time goes or how to make it go faster.

I see you wondering if your English is good enough, your hair straight enough, your nose small enough and your skin light enough for the world around you. I see you stifling your accent and shortening your name – walking twice as fast to step over obstacles mostly invisible to your white counterparts. 

I also see you crunching the winter leaves and letting your skin soak in the soft glow of moonlight and the kisses from twinkling stars. I see you cleaning in a frenzy to get that productivity rush when your work deadlines stack up. I see your face soften at the sight of babies and furry pets, and I see you cackling at your own jokes.  

I see you holding my hand from near and far, checking in even when things get hard. Especially when they do.

And, I love you through it all. I love you across time and space and perceived lines of difference. I love you in spite of this heteropatriarchal, capitalist society that makes it difficult to live and which encourages us to see each other as competition. 

I want you to know that there will always be more than enough space for You, Me, Them, and Us all in the place that is my love. Because, my love means listening to you, not merely hearing your words, but truly listening to you. It means valuing you in your fullest breadth as a unique and autonomous being. It means making a conscious effort to actualize the contours sketched out by bell hooks, Alexis Pauline Gumbs, Audre Lorde, and more.

I commit to loving you deliberately in these ways: 

• Through challenging oppressive systems and institutions

• In imagining and pursuing a more just and equitable future 

• By actively learning our histories 

• Through being present with you and caring for you

• In exercising self-care and being honest about my needs 

• By holding us accountable and growing alongside you 

Bell Hooks Said Love is a Political Act

Contrary to the mainstream narrative that is pushed forth by media outlets and the entertainment industry, love is not simply a romantic feeling. Rather, it is an ongoing choice that is applicable to our relationships with each other and all other life forms. It serves as a powerful framework for social justice. And, in order to use love to challenge oppressive systems and institutions, I draw from bell hooks’s definition of it as a “combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect, and trust” in her book All About Love: New Visions.

• Care is taking the time to understand and prioritize the needs of others. It means being compassionate and empathetic towards those who are experiencing injustice.

• Commitment is staying the course even when things get difficult. It requires a willingness, a refusal to give up when faced with obstacles.

• Knowledge is actively seeking out information about different forms of oppression and their impact. It means challenging popular narratives that often suppress or underemphasize the ways in which systems and institutions perpetuate oppression.

• Responsibility is recognizing our role in creating and upholding systems of oppression, and taking accountability for not only our actions but the actions of our ancestors. It means recognizing our privilege and using it to make more space for those who are marginalized.

• Respect is treating others with dignity and valuing their lived experiences and distinct perspectives. It means recognizing the inherent worth and value of all life forms. 

• Trust is building strong, meaningful relationships based on mutual respect and understanding. It means being vulnerable and open with others, and recognizing that true change can only come from collective action.

In the movement towards better futures for us all, I understand that love is naming the root causes of oppression and actively working to dismantle them. This starts with highlighting supremacy ideology and how it operates through:

• Greed

• Caste 

• Eugenics

• Chattel slavery

• The need for cheap or free labor

• The genocide of First Nation peoples globally

I see that love also requires a deep commitment to educating ourselves and others, as well as a willingness to listen to and amplify the voices of those who are most oppressed. We must work collectively and follow in their lead.

Love Lives in the Heart of Social Justice

At the heart of this work is a deep love for ourselves and for each other. This love guides us in practicing empathy and active listening, ensuring that we see each other and our lived experiences without passing judgment or defensiveness. Yet, if we do, it means unpacking our privileges, biases and assumptions and being open to feedback and growth. 

Love demands that we take concrete actions to be present for each other and offer support. And, it emphasizes a prioritization of our well-being while we engage in lifelong work towards equity, systemic transformation, and community healing. 

Ultimately, love can be a transformative force for building a better world – it is social justice. Love is social justice.